Recently we read some useful tips from a website We thought it was worth sharing.

1. 1 2 3 technique

This technique is from a book with the same name. After a short discussion with the child about what the one...two...three mean, you (the adult) just have to count and keep cool. When you begin to count, the child knows which behavior s/he is doing that has caused the counting. This is a small external help to the child to monitor or change the current behavior to a more acceptable one. What I think is so good about this technique is the ability to help the adult stay cool and calm even when you might be very annoyed inside.

2. Catch them doing some thing right.

Positive behavior should get the same attention poor behavior does. I find it helps to comment on ways my children are helping, "Thanks for clearing your place at the table without being asked," or praising them when they act in a kind way. Reinforcing their positive behavior seems to produce more of it.

3. Let them decide .... Sometimes

If it is not dangerous, in most cases, you should let the child decide and learn from his/her mistake.

4. Praying together

If your child disobeys or demonstrates conduct unbecoming and something s/he has been warned about previously, you won't immediately think of this technique. This technique is a follow-up to other techniques. It is a powerful tool to use at the appropriate interval. Your other disciplining techniques will gain greater strength if you can discipline yourself to use this technique. 

You can remind your child of what you have asked of him/her and then recall the behavior. Ask about what other things s/he could have done to avoid the behavior. Very often you will get silence, but almost every parent is great at filling in the blanks. 

Later on, instead of watching TV or reading or playing, you will request that your child (you can also include other family members) pray with you. You can start by giving thanks to God for your child and the privledge of parenting. Ask God for guidance. Children need to see us humble, too, in the eyes of God. Make a promise to God to not give up on your child and to do what is needed to correct the behavior. Then request God, through prayer, to help your child to do the right things and to have greater self-control to do the things that s/he may not want to agree to (or other requests as related to the situation/behavior). You can then lead your child through (or have him/her create a prayer if s/he is capable) a prayer to God requesting assistance and giving thanks and asking for forgiveness. 

You are creating a relationship and communication with God. However, please do not let this be the only times that God is prayed to. If it is, you may do more harm than good. We need to be mindful to rejoice our blessings to God in prayers for all the wonderful and glorious gifts we are given